Friday, June 22, 2012

The road to hell

is paved with good intentions...and all that rot.

Not avoiding the blog , just unable to get here.

Something totally unforeseen is going on here right now.

One of my breakfast club kids tried to do away with himself rather then go back home. ( being careful with my words)

I am so stupidly, blindly,  arrogant sometimes it never crossed my mind something like this might happen. Mind you I usually only have children that are extremely young... this is a much older child.

This crises has reverberated all through the whole household.... emotional repercussions all around..

I think we, the Cattleman and I, not to mention my own children are getting too old for this. They are fully aware what is going on,  Stupid, stupid, stupid, Polly Anna, life is good, stupid.......I think I am done.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Mr. Head and shoulders, knees

and toes was arrested in Berlin Germany this morning.

As more is known,  more bits of information will be leaked I am sure.

Luka Rocco Magnotta was arrested in Berlin Monday after a four-day international manhunt that spanned three countries.
The 29-year-old Canadian wanted over a horrific Montreal ice pick murder and decapitation of a Chinese student that he allegedly filmed and posted to the Internet, was arrested in or near an Internet cafe, Berlin police said.
A Canadian official has confirmed the arrest to The Canadian Press.

My guess is that I will be joining Wolf Song in hell as I can not get this song out of my head.  Well .... not the whole song,  but certain lines keep prancing through my mind. Which suggest a nasty end for moi. Oh dear da dear dear me.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Who started the Zombie apocalypse

 and didn't tell me?

1) A severed foot mailed  to the P.C.  party's headquarters.

2) A cannibal shot and killed in South Beach Florida after eating off his victim's face. 

3) A man who stabbed himself multiple times and threw his own intestines at the police. 


Update: Hand found in second package by  postie with sense of smell.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Busy, busy, busy

Everything here is going well.

My breakfast club kids are going home in a few weeks which means tying up lots of loose ends medically and a whirl wind of appointments.

The youngest who had a shunt put in his head to drain off excess fluid is doing very well. He has been progressing medically (healing, kids are so resilient) and starting to progress physically too. Gaining a lot of weight, starting to hit developmental milestones he missed. The blob that lay and did nothing is crawling, playing,  pulling himself up to sitting and trying to stand. His MRI showed that as fluid is being removed from his skull brain matter is decompressing and he is learning to access it.. (WTHoodles? I thought brain matter did NOT recover it's self. Doctors say they were very wrong on that assumption. OK)

He has been frustrated by his lack of communication, he couldn't do much more then grunt and point. We have been slowly teaching him sign. Yup and it took a while for him to get the connection but once he figured out it gave him a voice he learned and demanded more signs. So we taught him, we taught him in English and his regional native dialect. This child is amazing.

The others have done well and we will miss them, but I have had part of my heart stolen by that wee guy.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Stilettos and Polyester Princes

Ah my young teen years were spent listening and dancing to the Queen of Disco.

I was hot stuff for sure.

Night Donna.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Not so psychedelic this Sunday,

As a child if I wanted to watch TV it was with my mother in the afternoons, she watched every old Hollywood Musical that she could. If I was quiet I didn't have to go for my afternoon nap. Probably the only time I was quiet.

You may be excused if you assume I am going to have Judy belting out Bang bang goes the Trolley ( meet me in St. Louis) or Ms. Monroe shimmy her way through Diamonds are a girl's best friend.


Been hearing this in my head off and on for a few days now. Why? I will never know...

Monday, May 7, 2012

Another Bi-centennial moment.

I don't know about you folks, but my family is in a flurry of preparations for this coming summer's Bi-centennial.

What Bi-centennial you ask?

Why June 18th of course, June 18th of 1812. Ringing any bells yet y'all?

Yeah that Bi-centennial.

The famous war of 1812.

Now the Mericans had every reason to be PO'd at the mother land, seeing as they had fought for their Independence  way back in the day. But for some odd reason Britain treated them as if they forgot (Inbreeding ya think?) they were defeated and the Colonies had become independent. Sort of treated them like little kids whom they patted on the head and agreed with them and then did what ever they pretty much wanted anyway. Blockades preventing trade and things like kidnapping their men folk,  impressing them into the royal navy (to fight that short guy in France) and those dastardly British daring to interfere in the slaughter, conquering management of the natives in order to keep American expansion in check. Not that the Mericans were angels mind you, they had visions of Manifest Destiny well before Manifest Destiny became cool.

With me so far?

Bet your thinking this is anti Merican post right?

Not so my 3 and 1/2 dutiful readers, just setting the table is all.

So now your wondering WThoodles is she going on about then...This is the Family Legend of how the Cattleman's family came to be in Canerder eh.....

Meanwhile back at the Outhouse they decided that Britain was really, really busy with that short guy from France and probably wouldn't even notice if they took over the northern hemisphere until it was too late. Kinda right, but really, really Wrong.

Back in good ole Ireland the Cattleman's ancestral family was barely eking out their daily bread let alone a life. All because of  those absentee (British) landowners displacing everyone (the natives of Ireland, Scotland, Wales et all, treated so much better then the American natives wouldn't you say?) and their little sheep dogs too.

Monarchy of the mother land wondered: What ta  do, what ta do? Brilliant plan that killed two birds with one stone. Sort of literally don't ya know.

Why not get all that Celtic ticked off testosterone off the streets, offer them three squares a day, travel to an exciting foreign destination, money for the families back in the home land and they get to kill as many upstart Americans as they can. What a plan! Brits are genius here, gets the angries off their streets, uses them to kill off the enemy or be killed. Best part Turning a negative into a positive, if the trip across the pond doesn't kill them troublesome  Celts off then maybe the Mericans will.

What self respecting starving guy could resist such a tempting offer as all that? Certainly not the Cattleman's great, on top of great, on top of great, something or other Ancestral  Grand  Pappy.

Long story short, Ancestral Grand Pappy (AGP for short)  hops a cesspool of a boat to the America's 
colonies. (surprisingly survives)  Hangs out doing patrols and the like along the boarder in the 100th Regiment of foot (surprisingly survives) , regiment sustains serious loses, (surprisingly survives) through a  not so unique combination of Americans being good shots and unsuitable clothing for Canadian winters and last but not least, rampant disease , gets folded into the 99th regiment of foot, (surprisingly survives)  kicks American ass back across the boarder, (surprisingly survives) follows and helps burn the Outhouse down in 1814. (Y'all are over that wee insult by now right? Ti's just a wee blip in our enduring friendship of our two countries. Friends argue....)

Americans notice that the short guy from France is no longer keeping the Brits busy, Oh dear me lets end this now....

1815 treaty signed, nobody wins and nobody loses, an official tie so to speak (except the dead/wounded of course, but oh well stuff happens, it is called war not checkers.) Ghent treaty stabilizes the friendliest, longest boarder in the  future's history.

Now the Monarch of the Mother Land has a brand new problem on their royal hands: What ta do, what ta do with all that  Celtic and assorted no gooders who (surprisingly)  survived? They did not want those guys back home, The short guy from France quitting caused a massive influx of previously busy Brit manhood to come back home, these regiments from the colonies are the wrong types and now they are trained??? Who wants to pay to have a problem came to your own streets???? Not the Mother land, no sire....

Ah Haaaaaa.!!!! Another two birds with one stone idea is born.

AGP was offered acreage ( just about 1000 acres of the prettiest, fertile land right on a lake, with a river flowing through it)  as a gift from the Crown in appreciation for his years of dedicated service.( basically for surprisingly surviving)  Brilliant. Not only did it keep his Celtic Ass in "the Colonies" it also provided a huge supply of readily available loyal settlers to colonize and make sure those upstart Americans stayed on their side of the boarder.

What self respecting starving guy could resist such a tempting offer as all that? Certainly not the Cattleman's AGP!!!!! Worked that land , sent for the wife and kiddos, only had a few at the time but ended up with 19 children (whom  surprisingly survive) in total over their lifetime (my uterus hurts just thinking about that number of children) and presto a long line of Canadians who still live on that homestead, coming on two hundred years very soon.

So thank you Mericans!!!!!!

And that is the legend of how the Cattleman's family came to be on that piece of land. As with all legends I am sure there is a grain of truth and more than a  smidgen of a lie. But that is their story and they are sticking to it.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Psychedelic sunday,

Getting ready to open up our "summer place" next weekend. Making list after list, packing bin after bin. Can hardly stay home this weekend.

Love this,

Thursday, May 3, 2012

A Bi-Centennial moment.

In honour of next month's festivities I present to you, (not the Arrogant worms whom this video attributes it to) But "Three dead trolls in a baggie" singing.

The War of 1812 song of course, what were you thinking?

*Note****** Blog Management (that would be me.) requests the following: please do not click unless you have some semblance of a funny bone.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

You know that woman scorned theory?

I did not laugh uproariously when I read this article, really I didn't because that would be small and  a stamp of approval.

Which would be wrong:

the 45-year-old Polish man dumped his dentist girlfriend, 34-year-old Anna Machowiak, for another woman. Mere days later, Olszewski somehow thought it was a reasonable idea to go to his jilted ex for dental surgery where he got more work done than he had bargained for.

This guy is not the brightest light bulb for sure, but I understand it is hard to find a good dentist.

"I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions," Machowiak  tells the Daily Mail. "But when I saw him lying there, I just thought, 'What a bastard.'"

Not me I thought what a clueless,  dumbass.

As for Olszewski, he is single once again. His new girlfriend apparently couldn't deal with his new, toothless appearance.

I hate it women are shallow like that. :O)

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Oh my Lord love a Duck!

Blogger is driving me batty!

Not sure what is going on but it is NOT obeying my commands. Especially when I try to add a link or cut and paste from an article, they are just not formatting to my posts. As a mamma of so many you would think I would be used to my commands being totally ignored or deliberately misinterpreted?  Apparently not.

The Cattleman upgraded me to a Mac while I was on Blog Hiatus, sweet of him right? Cause everyone knows that a Mac is better then a P.C, Right? That they are far Superior and easier for even the thickest dolt to use. Apparently not this dolt. It is taking me forever to be able to do more then the most rudimentary computer operations. Now if only I had a 10 year old who has used a MAC I would be a pro by now. :O)

I seem to be suffering from strange sort of password black out syndrome. While on Hiatus, I stayed away from blogger, sitemeter,  my photobucket account, the forum I semi moderated and the email I used for the blog and associated uses. We all know that it is bad news to have the same password for each right? That you need a unique password and you never ever write it down lest some one steal it and ... well... er write bogus posts on your uber private blog that gets 3 and /2 regulars ( thank you 3 and 1/2 regular visitors, I appreciate you very much) that  visit right? Apparently not. Seems I wasn't really thinking about my passwords even one little bit, just stomping them in or allowing the computer to auto sign me in (for years) ......I refuse to give up and make all new accounts. I will figure out where the end of Gordian knot is and repair from there. I will!!  That and start eating more fish.


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

HLS Saving you from one fictitious enemy

after another:

Not a minute too soon, the Department of Homeland Security has announced that it is creating “environmental justice” units that will be empowered to oversee regulations in conjunction with local governments throughout the country. The framework for the Environmental Justice Working Group includes eleven federal government agencies, including the TSA, the Secret Service and FEMA. Go big or go home, right?

Oh brother where art thou and your freedom now?

Environmental Justice Working Group? Sounds like a bad marvel comic hero group doesn't it?

Gobbley goop , double speak from the mission statement of your Environmental Justice Units.

As described in the 2010 Quadrennial Homeland Security Review (QHSR), our Nation’s vision of homeland security is a homeland safe and secure, resilient against terrorism and other hazards, and where American interests and aspirations and the American way of life can thrive. In seeking to fulfill this vision, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) aspires to avoid burdening minority and low-income populations with a disproportionate share of any adverse human health or environmental risks associated with our efforts to secure the Nation.

What ever that means, which I suspect is whatever the they want it to.


This doesn't make me look fat does it?

The song re-running in my head "might" show some age, but then maybe not...

It's not as if this was running around up there:

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

One of life's little mysteries

What's up with socks?

How is it possible that I can put guaranteed pairs in the washing machine and when they come out of the dryer I only have one to the set?

Do socks have secret lives we know nothing about?

Are there underground catacombs that connect washers and dryers around the world that we mere  humans can't access, see or sense?

Do they get tired of their partner and go off and seek new ones?

Do they grow weary of my detergent and seek machines with better fabric softener or *gasp* a human that uses bleach?

How is it that (occasionally) socks will show up in a size that NO one currently wears? One offs  that I know I have never bought in my life?

And just where do the missing socks go?

Where do those other's come from?

Questions that will be left unanswered....

Monday, April 23, 2012

Heeeeeey Laaaaaadies!!!!!!

Do remember back in the 90's?

How the Hot Glue Gun was woman's equivalent to guys and their duct tape?

How you used the darn thing so much, for the sake of ease, you had one on each floor?

How when you found out that there was a low temp glue gun you danced the gig because it meant the end of burnt finger tips and melted finger nails?

How you would use it for everything from hemming your drapes to sticking back on that nasty piece of wainscoting that keeps popping off?

How you would be saved the trouble of hemming your kids too long jeans by just applying a few droplets of the magical glue and presto no sewing marks on the jean legs and what the heck they will just need to be brought down in a few weeks anyway?

How it was super duper great at repairing that wallpaper who's glue had given up the ghost?

Na... me neither.....

And no I did not just clean out my closet and come across a glue gun and a huge bag full of assorted glue sticks.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

That's a tad tacky ..

Might have something to do with the little ones running around wearing straw hats, hobby horses and pretending to hold up the stage coach. (have I ever mentioned some days I crave a little piece of quiet?)

But this is the song stuck in my head, that I am grooving to whilst I go about my business...

Much to the chagrin of the Cattleman.  :O)

ya all come back now ya hear?

Friday, April 20, 2012

Move over Alec Baldwin

You might be addicted to "Words with Friends" If :

You go to a sporting event and you see a player's jersey name has a  Z in it and you immediately wonder if the game would accept it or if you see some long name like ...oh I don't know.... Klinkhammer... and  you think to your self:

 Aw man the words and points I could make with the letters with that name....

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Have you ever ?

when your partner comes to bed,
wakes you up,
adjusts pillows,
moves around endlessly,
turns on the light to remove a hangnail that got caught on a something,
readjusts pillows,
wraps covers around self like a cocoon,
takes covers off because they decide they are too hot or too heavy,
adjusts pillows,
decide socks need to come off to be comfortable,
adjusts pillows,
turn radio off because that HAS got to be the thing that is keeping them awake,
adjusts pillows...

and if you even so much as sigh, they ask stupid questions like:

How come your awake?

Which just makes you want to smack them upside the head , (baseball bat or cast iron frying pan anyone?) but you don't because you know tomorrow it won't even be on your radar of important stuff?

Na me neither......

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I thought Freud was Austrian....

not Swedish......who knew?

Slippery bugger that Freud.

I note that the article changed it's picture from the one of the laughing Minister of Culture feeding the "black person" their own innards ( a somewhat nostalgic throw back to the days when our rulers didn't even try to hide their distain for the little people) to a photo of  just the cut cake.

They still have it up at Small Dead Animals.

Where you been?

You every go through life thinking you got the tiger by the tail, you have it all figured out and them


Reality slaps you up the head?

Life is like that don't cha know, reality interrupts the living with......well reality and the natural hiccups  of being human on this  planet.

Nothing tragic, just a stopping of the skipping to tread softly and work on a few things, life gets complicated and very busy occasionally, it has done that and something needed to give.

We are all still breathing and some days there is something to said (gratefully) about that basic truth.

I wish to thank folks who missed me and let it be known, I appreciated it very much.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

May the fleas of a thousand Camels

infest your nether regions and may your arms be too short to scratch.

No this isn't for you so don't sweat it,

it's for her over  here, yeah that one over there..

To the one who gave my 7 year old ( Aspergers ) daughter a CD of the Chipettes for her Birthday.

YA you!

Delightful aren't they?

Well now my sweet daughter is under the impression that this is a boni fide, universally, socially acceptable way to talk and sing her way through life.


You know of course I will find away to return the favour...I'm thinking blinky noisy ray guns for ALL your boys with a whole case of batteries. They need them badly.

It's true what they say it is better to give then receive....

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

How not to get desired results

Or Feeble tips for "they think they are so adult already" children,

Never start off  phone conversations in which you wake up your Mamma in the middle of the night with:

Now mom I don't want you to panic.

This phrase is pretty much a guarantee  to set off alarm bells ,especially when it is hurriedly followed by:

Just thought I would call and fill you in because the police may show up at our door or call...

I'm just saying.....this is not the way to reassure a parent that all is good. In this case it turned out my young man  stepped in to defend a young lady who was being harassed by an obnoxious drunkard , but still....