What Bi-centennial you ask?
Why June 18th of course, June 18th of 1812. Ringing any bells yet y'all?
Yeah that Bi-centennial.
The famous war of 1812.
Now the Mericans had every reason to be PO'd at the mother land, seeing as they had fought for their Independence way back in the day. But for some odd reason Britain treated them as if they forgot (Inbreeding ya think?) they were defeated and the Colonies had become independent. Sort of treated them like little kids whom they patted on the head and agreed with them and then did what ever they pretty much wanted anyway. Blockades preventing trade and things like kidnapping their men folk, impressing them into the royal navy (to fight that short guy in France) and those dastardly British daring to interfere in the
With me so far?
Bet your thinking this is anti Merican post right?
Not so my 3 and 1/2 dutiful readers, just setting the table is all.
So now your wondering WThoodles is she going on about then...This is the Family Legend of how the Cattleman's family came to be in Canerder eh.....
Meanwhile back at the Outhouse they decided that Britain was really, really busy with that short guy from France and probably wouldn't even notice if they took over the northern hemisphere until it was too late. Kinda right, but really, really Wrong.
Back in good ole Ireland the Cattleman's ancestral family was barely eking out their daily bread let alone a life. All because of those absentee (British) landowners displacing everyone (the natives of Ireland, Scotland, Wales et all, treated so much better then the American natives wouldn't you say?) and their little sheep dogs too.
Monarchy of the mother land wondered: What ta do, what ta do? Brilliant plan that killed two birds with one stone. Sort of literally don't ya know.
Why not get all that Celtic ticked off testosterone off the streets, offer them three squares a day, travel to an exciting foreign destination, money for the families back in the home land and they get to kill as many upstart Americans as they can. What a plan! Brits are genius here, gets the angries off their streets, uses them to kill off the enemy or be killed. Best part Turning a negative into a positive, if the trip across the pond doesn't kill them troublesome Celts off then maybe the Mericans will.
What self respecting starving guy could resist such a tempting offer as all that? Certainly not the Cattleman's great, on top of great, on top of great, something or other Ancestral Grand Pappy.
Long story short, Ancestral Grand Pappy (AGP for short) hops a cesspool of a boat to the
colonies. (surprisingly survives) Hangs out doing patrols and the like along the boarder in the 100th Regiment of foot (surprisingly survives) , regiment sustains serious loses, (surprisingly survives) through a not so unique combination of Americans being good shots and unsuitable clothing for Canadian winters and last but not least, rampant disease , gets folded into the 99th regiment of foot, (surprisingly survives) kicks American ass back across the boarder, (surprisingly survives) follows and helps burn the Outhouse down in 1814. (Y'all are over that wee insult by now right? Ti's just a wee blip in our enduring friendship of our two countries. Friends argue....)
Americans notice that the short guy from France is no longer keeping the Brits busy, Oh dear me lets end this now....
1815 treaty signed, nobody wins and nobody loses, an official tie so to speak (except the dead/wounded of course, but oh well stuff happens, it is called war not checkers.) Ghent treaty stabilizes the friendliest, longest boarder in the future's history.
Now the Monarch of the Mother Land has a brand new problem on their royal hands: What ta do, what ta do with all that Celtic and assorted no gooders who (surprisingly) survived? They did not want those guys back home, The short guy from France quitting caused a massive influx of previously busy Brit manhood to come back home, these regiments from the colonies are the wrong types and now they are trained??? Who wants to pay to have a problem came to your own streets???? Not the Mother land, no sire....
Ah Haaaaaa.!!!! Another two birds with one stone idea is born.
AGP was offered acreage ( just about 1000 acres of the prettiest, fertile land right on a lake, with a river flowing through it) as a gift from the Crown in appreciation for his years of dedicated service.( basically for surprisingly surviving) Brilliant. Not only did it keep his Celtic Ass in "the Colonies" it also provided a huge supply of readily available loyal settlers to colonize and make sure those upstart Americans stayed on their side of the boarder.
What self respecting starving guy could resist such a tempting offer as all that? Certainly not the Cattleman's AGP!!!!! Worked that land , sent for the wife and kiddos, only had a few at the time but ended up with 19 children (whom surprisingly survive) in total over their lifetime (my uterus hurts just thinking about that number of children) and presto a long line of Canadians who still live on that homestead, coming on two hundred years very soon.
So thank you Mericans!!!!!!
And that is the legend of how the Cattleman's family came to be on that piece of land. As with all legends I am sure there is a grain of truth and more than a smidgen of a lie. But that is their story and they are sticking to it.
4 comments:
That's a cool story!
I've never detected a lot of hard feelings toward Canadians (or even Brits) over that unfortunate "burning down Washington" thing. Possible reasons, or a combination thereof:
* It's gone down the history textbook memory hole.
* The war of 1812 was possibly the stupidest war in history anyway, on all sides
*Nobody knows why the Americans took it into their heads to invade Canada in the first place, since it didn't seem to have anything to do with trade restrictions and impressment
*And finally, you're talking about a people who often cheer in movie theaters when the White House gets blown up on the big screen. Which it does almost routinely.
My AGP arrived in the Colonies via a bail bondsman named General Oglethorpe for similar reasons. Only it was the Spanish in Florida, not the Mericans (of which there weren't any yet).
Joel I think it was a combo of down the memory hole and that old official tie. Winners write the history, since both sides didn't lose they both sort of wrote what ever made them look/feel best about the whole affaire.
Don, while Oglethorpe rang a bell I had google. :O)
Seems lots of Monarchs decided the best way to deal with unwanted was to ship them off shore.
One other good thing that came from the war of 1812 is an enjoyable Johnny Horton song. Which inspired his Canadian twin brother to show cross border solidarity by opening a coffee shop.
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