Tuesday, March 30, 2010

What the Fudge?

I'm not sure if I want to laugh at how ridiculous this is or how outrageous it is that this was done  as school play.  Seriously WTFudge? Ummmm maybe parents will applaud any piece of inappropriate crap the schools roll out. If the school says it's all good it must be.....



Gotta love the banner of words over top this Play: The world is yours..I am charmed.

H/T C-Junk

Update:  The Cattleman insists that this must be a joke, a fake, a put up job.  Heh I should hope so.....

Update on the old update: This link was forwarded to me buy my friend Andy the Chicken, Yup it was a joke of sorts.  Thanks Andy, I think........

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Shame on us? No shame on you...

Last nights event with Ms. Coulter had to be canceled due to violence, there was fear for her safety.

I just heard the lovely leftest Shamus Wolfe, the open minded president of the student union explain why he couldn't allow Ms. Coulter speak last night at the University of Ottawa. I will post a link when it becomes available.


Dear "Shame on you" has, like soooo many of his like minded ilk decided that due process is not to be accorded to anyone who goes off his beaten path. He has decided that it is more then OK for him to anoint himself accuser, judge, jury and executioner of  Ms. Coulter in an attempt to protect us from the mighty Coulter mouth.

She's guilty!

She's guilty!

She's guilty I say and command, I can not allow her to be heard!!!!!

All I can say is thank god Ms. Coulter was not a black accused of a crime in the 40's, 50's, makes me wonder if  a white sheet clad Shame on him would have been in front of the mob with his hand braided noose, yelling She's guilty! Hang her before she can do more harm!

Thank god Ms. Coulter was not a Jew during the Nazi occupation, makes me wonder if Shame on him would have gleefully stuffed her in an oven and proudly displayed her skin stretched over his living room lamp.

We have seen these holier then thou, I know whats best for you, who needs the niceties of due process, I am the word  types alllll thru history now haven't we? Pleasant aren't they. Same person different cloak or uniform of righteousness.

Bush league is an understatement. I want my money back, I am sick that my tax dollars support Seamus Wolfe, this super sillious, ca hones deficient, dictatorial,  grandiose hypocritical tw*t. (my apologies to Tw*ts everywhere if they feel I have offended them.)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A-Houle decrees for you and me

I do not identify myself as "right" or "left", I have several reasons for that as number one, I have abhor labels when applied to me and mine and number two, there is no Real distinguishable difference between the two. In my opinion the right left struggle is just so much Christians and Lion to keep the sheep engaged while being fleeced. That being said.

I am providing the full text of the helpful letter that the U O leftist Echo chamber's Mr. F A-Hole sent to Ms. Coulter:




“Dear Ms. Coulter,

I understand that you have been invited by University of Ottawa Campus Conservatives to speak at the University of Ottawa this coming Tuesday. We are, of course, always delighted to welcome speakers on our campus and hope that they will contribute positively to the meaningful exchange of ideas that is the hallmark of a great university campus. We have a great respect for freedom of expression in Canada, as well as on our campus, and view it as a fundamental freedom, as recognized by our Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. I would, however, like to inform you, or perhaps remind you, that our domestic laws, both provincial and federal, delineate freedom of expression (or “free speech”) in a manner that is somewhat different than the approach taken in the United States. I therefore encourage you to educate yourself, if need be, as to what is acceptable in Canada and to do so before your planned visit here. You will realize that Canadian law puts reasonable limits on the freedom of expression. For example, promoting hatred against any identifiable group would not only be considered inappropriate, but could in fact lead to criminal charges. Outside of the criminal realm, Canadian defamation laws also limit freedom of expression and may differ somewhat from those to which you are accustomed. I therefore ask you, while you are a guest on our campus, to weigh your words with respect and civility in mind. There is a strong tradition in Canada, including at this University, of restraint, respect and consideration in expressing even provocative and controversial opinions and urge you to respect that Canadian tradition while on our campus. Hopefully, you will understand and agree that what may, at first glance, seem like unnecessary restrictions to freedom of expression do, in fact, lead not only to a more civilized discussion, but to a more meaningful, reasoned and intelligent one as well.

I hope you will enjoy your stay in our beautiful country, city and campus.

Sincerely,

François Houle.”
‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑
Vice-recteur aux études / Vice-President Academic and Provost

Université d’Ottawa / University of Ottawa

550, rue Cumberland Street

Ottawa (ON) K1N 6N5

téléphone / telephone : 613 562-5737

télécopieur / fax : 613 562-5103

www.uOttawa.ca/vr-etudes-academic

Note for my American friends: Unis here are funded almost entirely with tax payer dollars. Students pay a mere fraction of the actual cost, all profs, support staff are fully unionized public "servants". Heh.....

I am not surprised that racist, fascist "free speech for me but not for thee" crowd is at it again we have seen LOTS of examples previously, trying to ban Jewish profs from lecturing, trying to change charities because the current Charity only supports a disease that predominately effects white Jewish men, Israel apartheid week, not allowing pro-life clubs to meet on Campus student areas, de-certifying pro-life groups as being anti-female, not allowing the army to advertise or come to career day. Not allowing posters for this particular event to be hung on school property.


All I can say is: Who is surprised that the leftist factory is behaving in such a manner? After all have we not been deluged by examples of this reprehensible behavior, have we not seen examples in the AGW crowd? How this attitude is assimilated and this chicanery is honored as a viable proven method of squashing dissent? Wake up folks, they are NOT any smarter then you, they are NOT any better then you, they wouldn't have toilet paper to wipe the spittle off their chinny chin chins if not for your wallet. These petulant puppies need to be put back in their tax eating, ungrateful place, these are your parasites at work folks. Enjoy your life's blood being siphoned off by these creatures or do what even the most common of folk know how to do, burn their ass and slap them off.

But most importantly I have to put this out there: Anne you are too skinny girl, eat something already.


Update:  Just finished having a chat with a friend about this and they are of the opinion that this letter was a very loving and caring thing to send of to the Ms. C. A friendly note to let her know what is up so she can't get into trouble on this side of the boarder. O..........K. sort of those lovely folks that come door to door to convert you to save your soul don't cha know? How can anyone get mad at them, they are trying to save you from yourself.   What????????????  Spare me the false manners of these condescending elitist types please, this polite letter of warning was almost as warm, welcoming and subtle as this:

Friday, March 19, 2010

That was refreshing

I apologize to my two faithful readers in advance for the following post, perhaps I should have named my blog the irritants or the Grey Lady's latrine as this poor blog is fast looking like a repository for me crap. I will post this regardless as I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed to put it out there and get on with me day.

Today is a lovely day that has capped off a string of unusually warm days. AWESOME. So lovely in fact that the deck in the backyard was free of snow for the first time in about 5 months. Took the critters and the children outside so I can clean the deck and the kids can have some lets get dirty again fun. A perfect morning outside, no huge snowsuits, feeling the sun on my face, the kids happily loud as can be and I can enjoy their pleasure as the sound can echo thru the cosmos and not just my head.

Sound idyllic? It was for about 2 minutes and forty seven seconds. During my one moment of complete inner peace, embracing of those rare instances of near perfection what do my wandering ears hear? I register the distant sound of the dogs barking. The distant sound of the dogs barking? Oh....that can not be good.

Fact number one: The more the snow disappears the more escape routes for a  4 or 8 lbs dog can  and WILL magically appear along the fence line. EVEN if you and your spouse spent serious $$$$$, time and imagination making said fence line safe from escape for a 8lbs dog all last non-snow season.

The game is now a foot, where could have those little ...er...scamps have gone off to this time?  Next door to visit the sweet golden who loves to play? Nope plugged that hole good yesterday. Out into the fallow farmer's field in behind the yard? Nope, plugged those multiple holes  yesterday too.  In the front on the road? Nope, putting the fire wood allllll along the front until we get more chicken wire on the weekend did the trick.  Uh-oh that leaves one neighbor's place left. I'll just climb this play structure and take a look see. Yup there they are, one on the side of the 40 foot pool barking at the other one franticly treading water in the forty foot pool. What? Do you see where I am going to have to go here? I gird my loins and just barely manage to "hop" the 6 foot fence to choruses of "mom you look funny". (Every one is a critic.)

Fact Number two:  This stuff NEVER EVER happens when the Cattleman is home. Why oh why is the hubby NEVER home when stuff like this happens, what wonderful Karma does he have? What amazing good did he commit to escape this sort of stuff?

By now Lola is getting a wee bit distressed at being unable to get out of the pool and Bear is just a barking fool who is escalating his calls to Lola. Shut up Bear! I tried. Believe me I talked sweetly, I begged her, I pleaded to her to come to Mamma, but she just kept paddling in an ever increasingly smaller circle. F*** I did NOT want to do what needed to be done. Jeepers it is a huge 6 degrees outside, the water has just transformed from ice. I do not want to have to do this. Boots off, jacket off, much cursing and serious consideration of just going back home and ordering a new dog, but I took the necessary plunge into the shallow end.


OH MY LORD LOVE A DUCK!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me. Lola comes to me of course as soon as I enter. Out we get. Kids cheer, they are watching from play structure, Bear jumps all over me,  stuff Esther Williams back under the fence, Bear intelligently follows, stuff my jacket, boots thru hole and close it up.  Even more elegantly "hop" over 6 foot fence while attempting to not be rude to children who question my judicious use of colorful language. Run into house to strip of portable ice cubed clothing.....and it wasn't even 10 am yet. Heh, the Cattleman hasn't even given his customary phone call, I tell ya that man has some Karma.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Milking the Taxpayer

Its seems there has been this rash of reports of unregulated breast milk being sold on E-bay. ( I couldn't find any)This is most concerning for lawmakers who are trying to grope for further avenues of taxation and regulation to justify their existence, with full seamless support of the populace of course, under the guise of protecting our most vulnerable, our babies. The trauma of bought, unscreened breast milk is just something that can not be jiggled around with, this is not some rosie come what may matter,  this is a serious issue that needs serious intervention, the peaks and valleys of such a transaction should not go forth in an natural manner, business can not just let it all hang out unfettered, one can't just nip out for this stuff after all, this  requires the  binding of government forces to be seemly, safe and respectable. I am sure this article has presented just the tip of the problems we are could be getting into.

All I can say to that is bully for them for keeping abreast of all new forms of commerce and trying to find away to suck at the teat with every opportunity that presents it's self.

 What a bunch of Tits...er twits.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Dearest Winter

Dear Winter,

In the beginning we used to have fun, with your white snow that seemed to be a harbinger of renewal, a purification of the world, the bringer of peace, your season of giving and forgiveness. One would have to be a hard hearted cretin to not be moved by the stunning cold blue beauty and initial optimism you brought.  Your attractions are legend and well documented. I was entranced and distracted from the real missions of life, willing to sacrifice personal comfort for the dream you represent. But dearest Winter I am ready now to be done with you.  Your pure as snow act has fallen to a moldy caricature of your past, I have come to realize your minus 20 degrees are not worth it, you  are a killer of joyous family activity. (Except for those who possibly, if not assuredly, are insane.)

Of course I will always cherish those special times, like the day we all ran outside to make snow people and catch flakes on our tongues.  The laughter of the children making snow angels, the glee of gliding down a hill on a tobaggon, no that can't be taken away from us. Ah to have back that innocence and excitement of a new relationship before the drudgery sets in.  I will try hard to keep those memories alive and minimize your defects as much as possible.

Sadly, It is you Dearest Winter that is the problem, not me, we just are not a good match in any way, shape or form, except for a few good times in 5 months you have gone out of your way to make me miserable. Your constant expensive habits like increased heating and hydro costs have certainly taken their toll, this along with your obstinate obsessive need for near constant grooming and   maintenance, the heavy specialty clothing required to get any where near you has made you a season non-Grata. I refuse to put up with your temper tantrums, where you try to confine us to our home, attempting to make all the roads impossible to drive, how rude can a season be and just how much of that is one supposed to forgive? It just isn't acceptable behavior. Do you hear that Winter? I had to wake up to the reality of our situation  when the very thought of the temperatures your presence garners or your excrement makes me down right angry and causes Me, yes sweet little old me, to curse . More then just a subtle nudge that the honeymoon is well over and it is time to cut ties.

Dearest Winter: I am done, I think it is time for me to start seeing other seasons again. Please just be graceful about this and go quietly, maybe over time, a Looooooooooong time , we can be "friends" again, but for right now?..... please do us both a favor and disappear.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I will not think about polka dotted elephants thank you.

Here's the thing, we have these two small breed dogs. The first one I was slammed from left field by the family, they had decided they needed a dog again. Mamma not so much, I had the horrible chore of putting the last one down and I didn't relish the idea of "bonding" with another thing that lived such a short lifespan.  I was working on killing two birds with one stone and ruminating about breeding my favorite dog the Newfoundlander as a side line income and keep things "business" like. But sometimes ya just know when you are not going to win and you gotta give in with some semblance of grace and dignity. 

So we got this bruiser that the Cattleman and children picked:

Photobucket


The Cattleman thought it might be cute if we let the kids pick the name, sure that might  be cool.  They named that monster who grew into a massive 8 LBS "Little Bear" after a favorite cartoon character. Oh no! But at least we have been able to drop the little and just call him "Bear". I can live with it, in an odd way the name really suits him  in a gently clumsy way.

Flash forward to about a year later: the Cattleman decides that Bear needs a friend, a mate, another dog to keep him canine company in our house that is over run with humanoids. OK...but he insists that somehow we need to get something that will NOT dominate  Bear as he was here first.  Well goodness what in the world can you get that will pretty well guarantee you that it won't dominate a dog that weighs all of 8 LBS? Apparently a  Biewer Yorkie (pronounced Bee-vair, beaver,  after all we are Canucks eh?)....


Lola

Rather a sweet little beauty she is too.( For a quarter of a dog.) But the NAME, dang the NAME is making me insane in the membrane. Somehow letting the children name the first puppy has now morphed into a "tradition" that I would be the cruelest of beastly Mammas to change, so  name her they did. 

Her Name is Lola, she is a show dog...Ouch I just knew that was going to happen, it happened once and now that Barry Manilow tune will not go away, every frickin time I call that DANG DOG I hear that DANG SONG rolling into my head, it is sick I tell ya, a sick twisted thing. I curse the day that Barry was born by now.  At first I thought, Meh how long can that go on? It has been months and no end in sight, but now thanks to the sympathetic Cattleman, I now have an additional tune added to the play list. LALALALOLA. Thanks for the kinks baby, I will get ya back, ya know that don't you?

But in the mean time, to save my sanity, I will desperately try to NOT think of those songs ever again, I will not think of pink polka dotted elephants that bounce thru my brain thank you very much....... I will not.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Herman isn't always a Hermit

Back in the day when I worked outside of my home...no the dinos did not still roam the planet...I received a sourdough starter from a friend. While I enjoyed the results a lot ,it was like a wee bit of work at the beginning...It was like a relationship really, you had to remember it was there and you had to remember to "do" something to it regularly......A starter is a live thing that needs to be fed and stirred and you can't really do anything with it for about 10 to 15 days......

This is a method of, pardon the awkward pun here, of starting your own starter, it was commonly referred to as:

Herman/friendship/Amish starter,


2 cups of flour
2 cups of warm water
2 teaspoons of dry yeast

In a non-metal container add dry yeast to your warm water and let sit for about five minutes. With a wooden spoon/silicone spatula (never use metal on a starter please) stir in the flour and let sit covered loosely, (if a plastic container cover loosely do not snap the lid on, if a glass or ceramic bowl use a newly laundered tea towel draped across the top, if a large mason jar put holes on the top.) Put loosely covered starter in a warm place. ( I happen to incubate it on top of my freezer in the Kitchen.)

Now you have to feed the thing, use:

Herman/friendship/Amish starter food.

1 cup of flour/wholewheat flour can be used too.
1 cup of milk
1/2 cup of your sugar or honey which ever you think you would like best.


The next morning when you get up your starter should be looking very bubbly and active. Time to feed your starter it's food, stir, loosely cover again and refrigerate. (It will be a wee bit lumpy at this point and that's o.k. ) You need to stir your starter once everyday to keep it active and you need to "feed" it every 5 days to keep it going. On the first ten day cycle you can now use it. The younger you starter is the sweeter it will be, as it ages it gets that delightful sourdough taste. It will also sweeten up every time you feed it when you have removed some to bake bread with.



Have a life? Tired of the same old breads, pancakes and cakes made from this stuff?Go camping, going to be away for a while and you like your starter? If for some reason you can't take care of your dough it can be frozen ( I have heard for up to a year) and then thawed when you have the time to get around to baking with it again. Feel free to hand some over to a friend, this homemade stuff can be addicting and It is always nice to have a commrade in addictions to compare and trouble shoot with.

Here are a few recipes that are great using the Herman/Friendship/Amish starter:

Pancakes....Nummmmmmmmmm.

Sourdough Pancakes

2 cups batter/starter
2 eggs
2 Tbsp oil
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 Tbsp sugar
Optional additions of blueberries, Bananas and and for the kiddies Chocolate chips.
Mix the ingredients and let sit for 10 minutes or so before spooning it in to the fry pan or on your griddle.

*Because of the acid made when the yeast eats the flour, the baking soda will swell up like whipped egg whites. Do not be alarmed by this.

Warning: these pancakes are so freaking good you may become addicted.


Sour dough bread directions.

Sourdough Bread



- Ingredients

1/2 cup warm water
1 1/2 cup sourdough batter
3 cups flour*
1 Tbsp veg oil
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 Tbsp sugar
2 Tbsp yeast
milk (to adjust moisture)



1. Dissolve yeast in 1/2 cup warm water. Add sourdough batter, oil, salt, sugar and stir thoroughly. Add flour and mix thoroughly.Turn out on floured board and knead. Alternatively you could just throw this into your bread maker on the dough cycle and let it do this part. Simple and easy just like I like it!

If you don't have a bread maker here is a good you tube on kneading bread and how to figure out if your done. Simple and straight forward.

Cover and let rise for 1 hour. Punch down dough and shape it, if you want a round loaf just generally shape it, if you want a more "French bread" shape just generally shape it by folding it into that shape and then let rise for 1 more hour on oiled bread pan/cookie sheet. If you really want it to be authentic them sprinkle your pan with corn meal so the bottom of the loaf will have it adhere to the corn meal.


( I now use a baking stone that I heat in the oven and transfer the bread to it with a pizza peel, it gives a great bottom but is not necessary in order to get good if not great results.)


Use a sharp knife to make a few slits in the top of the bread so the inside of the bread can continue to expand while baking.

If you are fond of the hard, crisp crust of San Francisco sourdough bread and wish to duplicate that you need to have a dish in the oven that has water in it to steam the bread while it is baking. Use a spray bottle to spray the top of the dough/bread a few times before putting it into a preheated oven at 325 degrees. Re-spray the bread every 10 minutes for three times. This will give you that dark hard crust.

Alternatively for ease you can just brush the dough with raw egg or milk and pop it in the oven, (again with a dish with water in the oven) and be done with it.

Bake for about 45 minutes. You will know the bread is ready if you tap the bread and it sounds hallow.

* The flour you use does not have to be white, it can be wholewheat and or a combination of wheats, rye, what ever. It is very flexible recipe. You can even change the construct of your starter by changing the type of flour you feed into your starter. Get tired of that and you change what you feed into another type of flour. The possibilities really are endless.

Just Google Herman or Friendship or Amish starter and go to town on all the culinary variations available to you....tons of them. Enjoy!

I need to apologize right now to whom ever I took these recipes from, you are out there on the internet...some where and I H/T you respectfully but forgetfully. I hang my head.....

Wild WIld Yeast

Did you ever wonder how pioneers or even those trendy folks in Sanfran get or got their starter for bread with out yeast?


I mean it's not like they had nice Mr. Fleischmann's ready made Yeast sitting waiting at the local market.

Out of yeast? Don't worry: It's not hard to find/make/produce enough to make bread.

The feisty critters that make bread rise actually live all around us. In fact, the use of yeast in bread-making probably got its start accidentally, when "wild" yeast caused doughs meant for unleavened flatbreads to ferment.

To this day, many bakers still use "wild" yeast to make bread, especially in San Francisco, a city famous for its sourdough. To make sourdough, bakers use a "starter," a piece of dough in which yeast is continually reproducing with the help of regular doses of flour from the baker. The yeast that gets the starter "started" usually comes from the air in the kitchen or bakery where the bread is made, but some starter recipes also use store-bought yeast.

Sourdoughs and other raised breads also differ from one another because of the yeast used, one could crush some unwashed grapes (they would need to look dusty to work, this is the same yeast used in the fermentation process for wine), some beer should do it too, leave it out to capture wild yeast.

But my favorite so far has been a Christmas present I got from a very smart Cattleman who knows his woman and got her a piece of the world famous Carl Griffiths Oregon Trail 1847 starter.  It even has excellent provenance certificate to prove it. ;) Cost? One SASE, how can you beat that?

Now the thing about Sourdough , in order for it to be successful,  is very much like a new romantic relationship, it requires a wee spot of your attention almost every day at first (later you can neglect it for weeks on end and it will still be there like a faithful er...partner) and it will NOT put out for at least 15 days. If your impatient or can't commit to at least stirring the thing every day or so? This is not the method for you. NO Free yeast for you!

Once you have your starter you can take off a bit and make a second one to play with changing the flour combinations to your taste, like added rye flour, a portion of whole wheat, where ever your new found sense of adventure and confidence in your bread making skills will take you.

****Note: sourdough starter does look like a science experiment gone wrong, it either bubbles and pops at you or if you've forgotten to stir it it will separate and have a darkish liquid sitting on top. First time I saw that I actually threw it out thinking I was about to poison my family, just stir it up again.




Mine looked just like this one I found on the web.

Photobucket

These are some more images I found just to give you an idea on what it might look like. ( so you don't scare yourself like I did.)




Why don't stinky, vile bacteria and yeasts take hold instead? In general , chemistry is working in your favor. Most wild bacteria in the air feed best on sugars and don't do as well with the starches in a starter. As soon as the good bacteria begin to take hold, they produce lactic and acetic acids as byproducts, making the starter an even less hospitable environ for other bacteria. This lactic acid, the same as can be found in yogurt and buttermilk, is also what gives sourdough it's mild, sour bite. The process also produces small amounts of watery ethanol on the surface of the starter. ( The stuff that scared me first time around.)


Do not keep sourdough if it is green or smells like paint, vomit or something equally vile.

If it smells like beer? Good on ya!!!! Just saying is all....