Feeble tips for fellow strugglers

Or better to do a job right then quickly.

Note to self, when putting honey in the Microwave to re-liquefy one should check to make sure the top is popped off, much less explosive and cleaner that way .... Just saying.

How not to get desired results

Or Feeble tips for "they think they are so adult already" children,

Never start off  phone conversations in which you wake up your Mamma in the middle of the night with:

Now mom I don't want you to panic.

This phrase is pretty much a guarantee  to set off alarm bells ,especially when it is hurriedly followed by:

Just thought I would call and fill you in because the police may show up at our door or call...

I'm just saying.....this is not the way to reassure a parent that all is good. In this case it turned out my young man  stepped in to defend a young lady who was being harassed by an obnoxious drunkard , but still....

Feeble tips for fellow strugglers.

Ladies,  You might begin to think of the "CHANGE" if:

You go out on the deck in just flip flops, PJ's and a sweat shirt (don't hate me because I'm beautiful.) at 6 am to have a quiet coffee and cigarette before the kiddos get up and you are shocked, shocked I tells ya, to learn that is MINUS 11 degrees and not PLUS 11 degrees.

I'm just saying.....

Things that kinda concern me

or even more feeble tips for fellow strugglers.

There is a full fledged fire in my oven and it still has 2 and 3/4 hours left to go before the self cleaning cycle is over and I can open the door.

Cattleman says not to worry as these ovens are built to take the heat pas de sweat......

Ooooooo Kaaay, but just in case I will bring in the extra fire extinguishers to the kitchen, not that it will help much,  the dang dong oven door will not open for anything for another 2 hours and slightly less then 3/4 hours. But I'll guard it just in case....

Have you ever.....

Have you ever hidden something in such a great safe place, a place that no one else will think to look, felt so confident in it, over time you never had to worry if it was safe and then when you go to get it?  You can't exactly remember where it is?


Na me neither.....but if you have..... don't do that again. OK?

Ouch!

Parenting is not a popularity race, I have to keep reminding myself that I need to let them go and let the cosmos work on some of my adult (ish) children.

It is very hard to watch them make mistakes that can have lifelong repercussions.  I still have to force myself  let go and let them make those mistakes. But I don't want to........she says stamping her little size five feet.

No Grey to the rescue, no Cattleman to the rescue, no interfering...Ouch this is against my basic controlling nature, it's killing me inside..but my hands, not my heart are now off. Sink or swim my child,  we will always  love ya.....

Feeble tips for fellow strugglers

Some things I know to be true:

When driving on a two lane highway out in the sticks, if you are following a pickup packed full of boys and they are doing 70 on an 80, (instead of the standard 90 or 100) I'm thinking those boys are up to some kind of no good.

The other thing I know is if that same truck starts drifting off onto the gravel and then over corrects into the on coming traffic lane, those boys have started the weekend a wee bit early and all plans of passing them is instantly revised to me slowing to about 60 to give them plenty of room.

Just saying......

Every child is a unique gift

something like a snowflake.

Conversation at the restaurant.

Little Man: I need to go potty.

GL to the Cattleman: I'll take him, come on Little Man.

Little Man: Mom your going in the wrong room.

GL: No your coming in here with me.

Little Man: But it's the girl's and I'm a boy!

GL: Well I'm a girl and since I'm the one that brought  you, you go in here.

Little Man: But I'm  doing a pee and I want to pee in the fancy sink, the sink in there is too tall to pee in.

Insert visual of blinky eyed Grey right here, mental images of Little Man standing on the step stool at home peeing in the sink flash by....... Naaaaa.....

GL: I should hope so, just come in here for now and I'll get Dad to bring you to the fancy sink before we leave.

GL to Cattleman upon returning to table: Honey you have some bathroom splaining to do...........

Feeble tips for fellow strugglers

Note to self:

When a child comes up to you saying; OOOOOOhhh muuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmy I feel sickies, the proper response (apparently for self preservation reasons) is NOT to embrace them and ask how they feel sickies, the proper response is to duck, roll and take cover.......  Just saying.

Feeble tips for fellow strugglers

Note to self:

Try to remember, no matter how busy or distracted you are, when you go outside to shake out children's vomit filled sheets make note of direction of wind.........just saying.....