Behind a post or two

I know I promised a post on more bread, but yesterday some dumb fcuk's dog chased down one of my kids and attacked them, no permanent damage done to my child (thank goodness), just bruising on the buttocks from the teeth,( no broken skin thanks to a pair of jeans) and nail marks along the legs, but by GOD I wish I could take a baseball bat to the &*^% owners of that dog.

After things settled down a bit,


Little man: Mommy you kicked that stupid evil puppy.

Grey: No honey the puppy is just being an animal, the owners are stupid and evil and yes I kicked it good.

They are just lucky the Cattleman wasn't here...but I still have to tell him..he's a gonna be PO'd.

Focaccia

In  previous post I have mentioned that I am  a huge fan of  NO Knead Breads.  One of my favorite books is Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day: The Discovery That Revolutionizes Home Baking

and their block buster sequel of healthy breads, Healthy Breads in Five minutes a day

Jeff Hertberg M.D. and Zoe Francois, the authors of the above two books have an awesome web site where you can go and get recipes, trouble shoot and their blog is pretty good reading too. I appreciated this when I first started, not only did it answer any questions I had but it gave inspiration too. They even provide their master recipe for white Flour dough so you can give this whole concept a try.

One of the "hazards" of this technique is  occasionally I can forget a tub of bread dough is fermenting away in the back my fridge. This tends to happen more in summer when I am flipping back and forth from the house to the lake.

As a refresher this is what my dough should look like.




But today this is what I found hiding at the back of my fridge in the trailer.



That is some very played out yeast, but it did still smell very good, kinda sourdoughish, so I decided to use it anyway.  What to make, won't make a nice loaf, boule or baggette,  maybe some focaccia for some nice sandwiches? Yeah that sounds pretty good to me. (the amount of dough shown will make two or three focaccia)



First thing I did was generously flour a large surface, which I can tell you in a camping trailer is not an easy thing to find, but I digress, flour the surface, place dough on it and push pull and roll out into a rectangle type shape around 8 or 9 inches by 8 or 9 inches or so.

Hey it could be square also, but somehow just saying square adds a certain pressure to attain perfection. You know that four equal sides thing can be a bummer if your a perfectionist, which I'm not, so retangular it is for me. :O)




Ok so it looks more like an omeba then a rectangle, but simple is the name of this game, not perfection. Get it? Got it? Good.

It should feel nice and smooth (like a baby's behind) and  soft. I used about 1 Tablespoon of olive oil and rubbed it on the dough and then flipped it over and  Slapped it on some parchment paper, tin foil will do but I like to bake with parchment paper, always have, nothing sticks to it and it soaks up excess  grease/oil residue, where as tin foil does neither of those things for me.



Made a slurry of 1 tablespoon of salt, 1 Tablespoon of water and 1 Tablespoon of  Olive oil and brush that on my top after I poked a whole bunch of "dimples" in my dough with my fingers. You are supposed to use the end of a wooden spoon and make it pretty one indentation at a time and symmetrical, one indentation at a time and symmetrical is (again) for perfectionists with time on their hands and those that don't have as many children as I do. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.


I decided to add some asagio cheese and spices, covered it with a tea towel and let rest for about forty minutes.



Start BBQ about 10 to 15 minutes before baking bread as we want it nice and hot  450 hot.

I added a tin pie plate so I can add 2 cups of water to the BBQ when I put my Focaccia in so it will steam like real bakery bread does.

Throw the parchment paper protected dough on to the grill, add your two cups of water to your pie plate, close quick as a bunny and let bake for about 25 minutes. You might need to monitor your BBQ a wee bit and adjust times  (also a wee bit) because BBQ s can be hard to regulate temp wise.

Take dough out and cool.



Yummy tasted even better then it looked.



Even the crumb looked great on this improvised, slapped together attempt to not waste bread dough.

Ewwwwwwwwww

Temps today are supposed to be a record high of some 46 C with the humidity.

Perhaps not that hot for some folks,  but this is not a dry heat, already when walking it feels as if you are wading through warm semi (un) congealed jello.

Going into town to round up some vulnerables, grey haired mamma of the grey lady, my daughter and the princessa, everyone dropping by tonight for a BBQ dinner in some A.C.

Take care out there in the heat folks.

I wanna be your tampon

I'm shocked I tells ya! I am shocked to learn that Media (and others) have been bugging phones of private citizens in order to make report all the news that is fit to print.

In 1993 a magazine published the famous quote by the future King of England talking privately to Camillia that he wanted to be his mistress's tampon.  Insanity ensued. Shark infested circling of the Royal couple ensued, tabloids made mega bucks and all was well, because it was "them" whom were screwed over.

But on one would bug or intercept real people and their cell calls right?

Anyone with half a working brain cell thinks "yes they will and they do". Yet the world is so faux shocked. Stupid sheeps, fast asleeps.

Every child is a unique gift

Something like a snowflake,

A conversation heard in my very own easy bake oven (summer camping trailer) 4 am after a huge storm.

Little One: Mommy! Have you disappeared too? Mommy I need you!

Grey (that would be me) one eye sorta opening: What?

Little One:  Mommy! I need to pee and the bathroom has disappeared!

Insert visual of blinky,  half opened, do I really have to wake up, eyed Grey right here.

Grey (still moi): What do you mean the bathroom has disappeared?

Little one: I can't see it, it is gone...

Grey: No honey it's not gone, you just can't see it because we lost power from the storm.

Little one: So the storm made it  invisible then?

Grey (a confused moi): No not invisible, you just can't see it because it is so dark.

Little one: Daddy said invisible means something is there but you can't see it. So it is invisible now, can you take me to the bathroom NOW please mommy? I don't know how to find an invisible toilet alone.

Grey: Honey......invisible is different, the bathroom is the same, the same place, you just can't see it because it is really really dark and your not used to that.

Cattleman: Umm Grey?

Grey: Yes.....

Cattleman: Maybe we can get the trip to the bathroom done and work on the concept tomorrow?

Grey: Oooooo Kay...that will be your job as you seem to be a real Bill Nye the science guy...good luck I have the easy job....Hold my hand little one I will take you.

Little One:  Can you wait and  then  take me back to bed because the storm made that invisible too?

Grey with a silly grin on my face thinking about the Cattleman attempting to explain the nuances of invisible: Sure no problem.

A wee update

I just back yesterday from another week of camping with the children.

For some odd reason I can not seem to keep an Internet connection there. It keeps dropping out, which is ODD because I had NO issues last year at all. However this year everytime I go to post or something a cloud (I guess) bops by and bingo bango bongo I lose my connection.. yet again....changes a fun, creative ( might be a stretch) activity into a @#$% rigamarole. :O)


Not that the beach has made me lazy about anything that isn't essential to life and breath...nope it is a failure to communicate with mobile Internet stick.

Because Chocolate is my crack

If you are like Moi and categorize  chocolate as it's very own  food group go here and

Bake this now,

Knock you naked Brownies

I was dubious at first, brownies from a cake mix? who've thunk it? Filling made from  melted Kraft caramels? I'm thunking and groovin it right now, with a cup of tea.

One bite and I was transported to a cloud of chocolate/caramel gooey goodness that rivals....excuse me I hear another cloud of chocolate/caramel gooey goodness calling my name right now....   


This woman can bake.

Not so psychedelic Sunday

Not sure what I need there, but Baby won't you take me to




At the very least could you take this song out of my head....

I let my Mexican drug lord license expire.

Am I still eligible for the free machine gun program?

Classic Iowahawk, nuff said.

Finally some good news

Cattleman went to the Specialist today for a follow up after some tests that have been done.

And the survey says?

Inner Lung cancer- nope

Cancer of the throat- nope

Cancer of the bronchial tubes/voice box- nope

T.B.- nope

C.O.P.D.- nope

Fungal infestation of the lungs-(WTFIT?)  nope

Asbestos Damage- nope

Damage due to exposure to gasses etc over his career.- nope


Now we are just waiting to get the call for his CT Scan. We have been on the list for two months now and we haven't even heard when we might expect an appointment. Probably three to six months more wait. This CT Scan will tell us if he has cancer on the outer portion of the lungs. I asked him tonight if he would like to just jump over the boarder and buy a scan. Here in Canerder we can't buy a scan, it's illegal for a private company to provide this service, so if we want to jump the Q we have to go to the US. We could get an appointment with in days and we would have our hearts and minds at rest with in days instead of worrying if he has the cancer and letting it go untreated  and possibly spread in the Five to Eight months it takes to get an appointment for this important diagnostic tool. He said he didn't think that would be necessary and was confident all will be fine. O.K. but you can change your mind any day you want and we are gone Mr. Stoic.

Now if we could have gotten an MRI or a CT Scan months ago the Cattleman would not have had to have all those other tests and procedures. (which all cost money and take up precious time of hospitals, Doctors and their staff.) But OH NO we can't find the money for more MRI's or CT or PET Scans. That is some expensive shit there. But if my dog had a problem I could buy him a MRI/PET/CT Scan and be booked within two days. WTFIUWT? Does that make any frickin sense to any sane soul out there?

I'll take my good news, yes I am grateful and try not to spoil it with complaining about lack of medical options for humans in this country. We had good news, I expect to continue to have good news,  We will continue to plan and prepare as if we expect bad news.

Hope for the best, plan for the worst and I dare to dream I will never have to implement it.

G'day Australia!

I seem to have a large uptick in hits from Australia, all for this post:

How to survive a snowstorm.

My guess is some school has given this as a school project or something. :O)

Sorry I didn't have exactly what you are looking for but G'day mate and greetings from Canerder eh!