I find this hard

to swallow

Raise your glass if you fancy a shot of horse semen, a purported "delicacy" that will debut at the  Wildfoods Festivale in Hokitika, New Zealand, in March.

"It is sort of quirky, I suppose," festival organizer Mike Keenan told AOL News, with Kiwi understatement.

"It is the protein of the stallion. It is going to be tastefully done."

Well of course it is, nothing says tasteful like a mug of stallion semen.

Festival organizer Keenan joked that New Zealand's recent international sporting success in rugby league and netball were because of athletes imbibing stallion semen.

"The Kiwi rugby league team and the New Zealand netball team  found [stallion semen] is better than Viagra and has helped their performances very well," he said.

Well there ya go then, makes sense to follow those folks that also believe such superstitious classics as not shaving, showering or changing their underwear during a season because it would be "bad luck".

H/T HOM

Mommy Tips from gwyneth of oblivia

Gwyneth Paltrow gives us lowly Mommies the wisdom of her experience and tips on making it all work.

I've compiled some of the most helpful advice here. Real moms should adopt these tips immediately in an effort to better manage their schedules and lead less hectic lives.

• Have a personal trainer come to your house, preferably on Mondays. This will be great motivation for working out the rest of the week.

I got you beat, I have 8 personal trainers that live in my house, I run, pick up and lift weights from 10 to 45lbs in steady repetition on a consistent basis daily.

. 

• Have a weekly blow-out. This means that you don't need to wash your hair each day and can save time in the morning.

Wash my hair every morning????????? Doesn't that make your hair fall out or something?????? That can't be healthy. Ponytails hide all Manner of hair sins, even roots, but oddly not the greys,.

• Get an amazing assistant.

I have an amazing assistant, but he goes out everyday and works his behind off in order to feed, provide for my personal Trainers and keep me in expensive shampoos , elegant exfoliates, scrubs and body washes, we call it Irish spring or dove or lever 2000.. 

• Condense your spa appointments. For example, JB has a salon she goes to at the end of the day to have a facial, manicure, and pedicure at the EXACT same time. She's in and out in 70 minutes.

What's a spa? Soap, water (non-bottled, non-imported, non-carbonated), a loofah and nail clippers, squeezed in between shouts of "Mommy? Where are you" and " Billy fell down the well again".  It's all good.

• Get seven hours of uninterrupted sleep a night.

I don't have any idea what Seven hours of sleep looks like let alone stringing them together. Nor do any of my friends who have a "normal" number of children. For me, I think it last happened back in 19 and 90 something. 

• Get a fishmonger who delivers. This way you can always have fish in the house and can be prepared in case you need to whip up a quick fish dinner.

Someone delivers Captain hi-liner and frozen french fries? Cool, gonna look into that. I just buy food at a grocery store and put it in this weird thing called a FREEZER or refrigerator.  Why did you have to ruin things and use the F word? Every landlocked Mamma on the planet knows that no self respecting person under 4 feet will eat the F word. It is NOT fish it is called "special chicken". Just like broccoli is not broccoli, it is called baby trees, parsnips are not parsnips, they are yellow carrots.

Finally some truth in propaganda.....

from the global warming, climate change, Global weather disruption cult,

Warning there is blood, perhaps best to view the first time away from the critters.


No pressure:



Freud was a slippery customer wasn't he?

Update: 10:10 has removed the "mini-movie" from it's website and from youtube perhaps due to misunderstood/misguided backlash.

 http://www.1010global.org/no-pressure

http://www.1010global.org/

Flushing out your dead

Giving new meaning to the expressions pi** on you and a drink in your honour, from the wacky world of the EU:

Belgian undertakers have drawn up plans to dissolve the corpses of the dead in caustic solutions and flush them into the sewage system.

The controversial new method is said to be less expensive and more environmentally friendly than running highly polluting crematoria or using up valuable land for graves.

The departed would go into the sewage systems of towns and cities and then be recycled in water processing plants.

Product is also available at your local US of A:

Six states in America – Maine, Colorado, Florida, Minnesota, Oregon, and Maryland have recently passed legislation that allow the process to be used.

In this day where environmental correctness is taken to the religious zealot's extreme and worn like an intellectual rational thinker's badge of honour we can be assured the the value of human life and death will be continue to erode in the name of Gaia.

Can Soylent green really be tooo far down the road?

H/T the Halls

Litterless Lunch Tyranny

A while back I received a note in one of my children's schoolbags.


Seems that the school as decided to go litter less lunches in order to help the environment. Which is a load of horse pucky, but I will get there...later.

This note is all "rah rah go mother earth" and how this was an initiative of the student environmental club (headed by a teacher, but I'm sure she didn't influence this project. Right?),further explains how classes will be monitoring the garbage brought in and consequently classes will be graded on their adherence to the new "policy" ( Ummmm I thought this was just an initiative? That got upgraded quickly) and the class with the best adherence will win a prize.

Oh goody...So now we have a teacher run agenda, that will put a specific special interest group in a position to "monitor" their fellow students to see if they are complying and appropriately accepting peer pressure programming to modify their own behaviour. Thus at an early age reinforcing the idea that one should sublimate themselves to the dictates of a special interest group and peer pressure.

Lovely. Just freaking lovely.

Accompanied by this proclamation from the school was a shopping opportunity, one must be fashionable while giving one's Borg like compliance. Charming lunch kits with special sections that are easy enough for all children to use and understand. All parents should be relived because the sections are divided and labeled in such a way that your child will not be eating snack before lunch.

How these kits facilitate this except in their imagination I have no clue, except that they have helpful cute pouches in them. Also I could care less what order my child eats their food in. I send a balanced selection of food that I KNOW she will eat. So what if she goes bat **** crazy and commits the sin of eating her blueberries and applesauce before her sandwich. Will the nutrition dissipate into thin air because it was not eaten in the preferred order of the general population? Conversely does a chocolate bar have more nutritional value if eaten after a sandwich? I think not. Send good food and order is no consequence.

Imagine how your child will feel part of the "Team" with co-ordinated lunch kits in the class. I guess it is sort of the uniform of the litter less lunch fascists, I'm not sure. But contriving and driving a need to purchase something in order to belong in a child as a fund raising activity for the school is sick, manipulative and frankly disgusting.

I spoke with the Prince and they are very excited by this new program, kids learn responsibility to the planet, will teach them how to work cooperatively with in the community for a common goal and it will ultimately save the school money as there will be less need to have the dumpster emptied. Ah ha....bungo. bango. BINGO.

I informed the Prince that I will not be complying with their new project, that If I chose to buy an food item, that heaven forbid, came in "packaging" I would not, as they so helpfully suggested, unwrap it and put it in a politically correct reusable container. This to me only teaches my child to do things that LOOK good, but actually are no more then "useless feel good window dressing" on a real issue. And I will buy these sorts of things and I will send them to the school in my child's lunch as long as they are a LEGAL product.

I also made it clear that I take my job as a parent very seriously. One who is more interested in training their child to be a secure individual who will not bend to peer pressure, If one has any expectation of their child standing up to the peer pressure of a passed mickey, drug of the day or a "come on baby you know you want to", you gotta start young.



I'll keep working on that using this example thank you very much.