Glue

Back in the day, about a million years ago, when we had only two or three children, the Cattleman screwed up his courage ( and speech/pitch I think) to ask me that question that every Husband/man  eventually asks or at the very least obsesses over.

Honey why don't we make love as much anymore?

I must have just blinked uncomprehendingly or looked really blank while trying not to say the first few things that came to my mind. I can be pretty sarcastic or bitchy (some might say) if I don't "put head in gear" before "starting the motor of my mouth".  He went on to explain that his concerns, besides the regular "guy " concerns, how it is important for Mommy and Daddy to be in sync to provide a happy, stable home for the children. (The old "Lets do it for sake of the children" trick, really?) How often a couple has sex is a great indicator of their love and commitment to each other. He was, as he said "concerned" by lack of frequency.

I thought about my busy day, the two kids in  11 months, ( I was supposed to be sterile, heh heh) the evening baths just done, the supper dishes still waiting, How sometimes I felt I was alone....drowning in the laundry, in what ever was on my list left to do.

Cattleman my dear, I do NOT need to have my back glued to the mattress in  order to feel loved and energized by you,  I need to feel loved and energized by you, that's the glue that keeps me with you and  puts my back on the mattress, do you understand the difference?

Now was the time for him to be all blinky and blank.

"Look at it this way, I'm talking about a kind of  foreplay." Well didn't he just perk up like a happy puppy? He could do foreplay, he knew foreplay. Motivated men are experts in learning foreplay don't cha know.

What kinda foreplay he wanted to know.

I'm talking about foreplay starts when you get up in the morning. Huh?????? More blinkity, blankity lookity from him. Making me a pot of coffee in the morning before you leave for work, me waking up and it's ready, you did that for ME. That's foreplay and it's only 6 am. Taking the kids off  for a walk or Daddy time, so I can clean up in peace and gather myself, thats foreplay, that is my glue. Get it?

Er sure, I get it.

Fast forward to this morning, the Cattleman knows I am in some serious denial about an issue and having a wee struggle, (That issue is a different issue and I won't deal with it until I am out of denial about the issue I am stubbornly in  denial of, if that makes sense.)

He wakes up and announces: Lets all pack up and go for a trek today, you just get yourself ready and I'll do the rest, we'll go out and HAVE BREAKFAST.

I'm in. ( glue)

He packs the snacks, the drinks, the toys, camera, all the other million things one might need and off we go. (Glue)

We go to one of our favorite places and order the breakfasts and he stops the waitress and asks her hold mine until the rest are finished, gets a very weird look from her I might add. She looks at me and I nod grinning. Kiddies breakfast , he eats and we chop sausages, jam toasts, slop up spills, squirt third helpings of ketchup, they finish up, he gulps the rest of his coffee, tells the waitress to please put my order in now, he takes them to the bathroom.

Put on your coats kids Mom's gonna have a HOT breakfast this morning. Take your time Honey we have things to do, see ya when your ready.  (Glue)

There I sat among the carnage of my family's breakfast having a hot fresh cup of coffee, a hot breakfast, I didn't make, didn't have clean up. It was heaven. I might haved appeared as if I was I alone, but I soooooo wasn't. I must have had on the silliest face.


When I finished I went out to the Van and the family had decided to go for a drive to this arty farty village that was about two, three hours away that I wanted to visit. They had it all planned out, the drive, the stops, the poking around antique or Art shops, the whole thing.   We had a great day, a fantastic day, cattleman driving, the sound of kids playing, sing songs, music in Ipods, the ding of DSI's, even snores at times, Me sitting loving it all, holding his hand occasionally, sometimes talking, about nothing important, it was perfect.

I was just so darn happy and somehow I thought of that night a million years ago, when we only had two or three children.............since that night? I've never felt like I was drowning alone again.

That man has developed some serious glue.