A Bi-Centennial moment.

In honour of next month's festivities I present to you, (not the Arrogant worms whom this video attributes it to) But "Three dead trolls in a baggie" singing.

The War of 1812 song of course, what were you thinking?


*Note****** Blog Management (that would be me.) requests the following: please do not click unless you have some semblance of a funny bone.

Oh my Lord love a duck!

Some folks are just too stupid to be bothered with.

Thick like a 2x4.

Sharp as a cotton ball.

Plus one.

Dull as a doorknob.

About as smart as a stick.

Make Maxwell Smart look smooth and intelligent.

Oh you get the idea by now......unfortunately, sadly,  there are days..er moments where I have to put myself in that category.

and that's all I got to say about that.

I let my Mexican drug lord license expire.

Am I still eligible for the free machine gun program?

Classic Iowahawk, nuff said.

G'day Australia!

I seem to have a large uptick in hits from Australia, all for this post:

How to survive a snowstorm.

My guess is some school has given this as a school project or something. :O)

Sorry I didn't have exactly what you are looking for but G'day mate and greetings from Canerder eh!

Assault with a deadly nipple.

Some posts I have to write just because I have a great title I can't bare to waste. :O)

When officers tried to get her out of the car, she told them she was a "breastfeeding mother and proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk," Sheriff Walter Davis said in a statement.

More police responded, removed Robinette from the car and placed her under arrest
.
Robinette is in custody and faces charges of domestic violence, assault, obstructing official business, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.

Remember ladies when it comes to the police breast is not always best.

Planning ahead works.

Jeepers I hope this is true:

Reverend Phelps and his gang of folks, that give lawyers and Democrats  a baaaaaaaaaaad name, attempted to protest at yet another soldier's funeral.

Didn't exactly work out as planned.

Rankin County handled this thing perfectly. There were many things that were put into place that most will never know about and at great expense to the county.
Most of the morons never made it out of their hotel parking lot. It seems that certain Rankin county pickup trucks were parked directly behind any car that had Kansas plates in the hotel parking lot and the drivers mysteriously disappeared until after the funeral was over. Police were called but their wrecker service was running behind and it was going to be a few hours before they could tow the trucks so the Kansas plated cars could get out.
A few made it to the funeral but were ushered away to be questioned about a crime they might have possibly been involved in. Turns out, after a few hours of questioning, that they were not involved and they were allowed to go on about their business.

Except for a wee assault, multiple cases of  forcible confinement and the extended questioning of folks with out probable cause, pesky legal details, (you know me always sweating the small stuff)   I really hope that more folks take it upon themselves to be non-violently proactive in stopping these nut jobs from disturbing the mourning of these grieving  families.

This guy is sooooooo white

he makes Casper look colourful.


This is the so called Naturally ruling inclusive party that is soooo bloody immigrant friendly?

The we got your back Bro party? Where day be den eh?

That handpicked audience looks (on the whole) very very old NTTAWWT and very white, NTTAWWT either, I  have some friends who are white and old, they are very nice people, people that  have no rhythm and can't shot basketballs worth a lick.. but still very nice people.

P.S. Mr. I, You don't do Evangelical very well....you have the charisma of a two day piece liver on a paper plate...you lack sincerity and purpose....stop..now!

Do I hear an amen on that?

H/T SDA

Woo Hoo!!!!!

Going up to PLUS 12 tomorrow. After the near constant MINUS 20's we have been experiencing the past month or so I just might strip off my parka, slap on the rubber boots and run frolicking through the woods.


Ummmm how does one go about frolicking anyway?

A little something to help perk ya up, he is just so darn sweet:

57 million channels and nothing to watch

I don't do much T.V.

Something about trying to have a real life and a mind instead of having my life filled up with mindless pap. But today while flipping I came across the most ridiculous channel and my new symbol of the quality of programing on the idiot making box.

Laddies and Lassies I give you the Rotisserie Channel. Yes really..... an ambient channel devoted totally to spinning chicken. For those of you that lament the inability to view such a wonder I have supplied a video that may will induce the unique combination of drooling and calm at the same time.

One more time with feeling....

Just to highlight my contention that Men Are Weird.

They do stuff like this to Friends????



I don't get them......

I find this hard

to swallow

Raise your glass if you fancy a shot of horse semen, a purported "delicacy" that will debut at the  Wildfoods Festivale in Hokitika, New Zealand, in March.

"It is sort of quirky, I suppose," festival organizer Mike Keenan told AOL News, with Kiwi understatement.

"It is the protein of the stallion. It is going to be tastefully done."

Well of course it is, nothing says tasteful like a mug of stallion semen.

Festival organizer Keenan joked that New Zealand's recent international sporting success in rugby league and netball were because of athletes imbibing stallion semen.

"The Kiwi rugby league team and the New Zealand netball team  found [stallion semen] is better than Viagra and has helped their performances very well," he said.

Well there ya go then, makes sense to follow those folks that also believe such superstitious classics as not shaving, showering or changing their underwear during a season because it would be "bad luck".

H/T HOM

I from Qweeeebeck eh.....

So I can post this pas de problem: Ya hoser.

Two french guys explain the wonders of free universal 'elt care via Steven Crowder:

Ever wonder why Libertarians

only have fellow Libertarians as friends? Wonder no more......





I resemble some of that.....


H/T The Blog of Walker.

I can see Twitter from my house...

Heh....Katie Couric, never one to let a mistake go without crucifying the offender does something unforgivable for  so called professional "reporter".

Katie Couric was a little quick with her Twitter finger Saturday.
The CBS News anchor mistakenly informed her 140,000 followers that embattled Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak had stepped down after 30 years.
Not true.
"As many of you have already heard Mubarak has resigned," Couric posted before backing off the report.

Gravy was served up by this goose but I have a feeling the tribe will rally, circle the wagons around one of their own and manage to NOT notice such an grievous error.

Son of a gun....

I was supposed to spend this weekend at the Hunter's safety course and writing for my Possession and Acquisitions Licence. Been looking forward to it for months (working up to it for perhaps years) for crying out loud., What am I actually doing?

Knee deep in fevered, sick with the flu children is what I am up to........

At this rate of life's co-operation, I figure this will be me when I finally get my permit to buy a rifle.......

Mommy Tips from gwyneth of oblivia

Gwyneth Paltrow gives us lowly Mommies the wisdom of her experience and tips on making it all work.

I've compiled some of the most helpful advice here. Real moms should adopt these tips immediately in an effort to better manage their schedules and lead less hectic lives.

• Have a personal trainer come to your house, preferably on Mondays. This will be great motivation for working out the rest of the week.

I got you beat, I have 8 personal trainers that live in my house, I run, pick up and lift weights from 10 to 45lbs in steady repetition on a consistent basis daily.

. 

• Have a weekly blow-out. This means that you don't need to wash your hair each day and can save time in the morning.

Wash my hair every morning????????? Doesn't that make your hair fall out or something?????? That can't be healthy. Ponytails hide all Manner of hair sins, even roots, but oddly not the greys,.

• Get an amazing assistant.

I have an amazing assistant, but he goes out everyday and works his behind off in order to feed, provide for my personal Trainers and keep me in expensive shampoos , elegant exfoliates, scrubs and body washes, we call it Irish spring or dove or lever 2000.. 

• Condense your spa appointments. For example, JB has a salon she goes to at the end of the day to have a facial, manicure, and pedicure at the EXACT same time. She's in and out in 70 minutes.

What's a spa? Soap, water (non-bottled, non-imported, non-carbonated), a loofah and nail clippers, squeezed in between shouts of "Mommy? Where are you" and " Billy fell down the well again".  It's all good.

• Get seven hours of uninterrupted sleep a night.

I don't have any idea what Seven hours of sleep looks like let alone stringing them together. Nor do any of my friends who have a "normal" number of children. For me, I think it last happened back in 19 and 90 something. 

• Get a fishmonger who delivers. This way you can always have fish in the house and can be prepared in case you need to whip up a quick fish dinner.

Someone delivers Captain hi-liner and frozen french fries? Cool, gonna look into that. I just buy food at a grocery store and put it in this weird thing called a FREEZER or refrigerator.  Why did you have to ruin things and use the F word? Every landlocked Mamma on the planet knows that no self respecting person under 4 feet will eat the F word. It is NOT fish it is called "special chicken". Just like broccoli is not broccoli, it is called baby trees, parsnips are not parsnips, they are yellow carrots.

Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied

with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

Mammoth 'could be reborn in four years'

The woolly mammoth, extinct for thousands of years, could be brought back to life in as little as four years thanks to a breakthrough in cloning technology.

Seems like a great idea non? But just where have I seen this idea before? Oh Yeah.....   :O)

I'd probably like myself better if.....

I didn't find this so  funny.



We all have our faults don't we? I'll work on it O.K. ?

H/T C.C.

Out of the mouths

of sheeple......

This comment  is from someone who thinks they are a cutting edge, hip new age Civil Libertarian, in response to an unelected, unaccountable, appointed for life, Superior Court judge's ruling that prostitution laws are against the constitution.

It's about freaking time it is made legal, seriously when are we going to grow out of this "nanny" state of rules and condemnation with the holier than thou outlook.




It is an old profession that is not going to go away, ever......so tax...tax..and regulate.

Keep out the minors, keep out the pimps, install free condom dispensers in the brothel's

Sigh....we have a long way to go yet baby...

Hard day at the office Bubbles?

Lots of things have been written on the G8 and G20 police abuses, the repeal of human rights in Toronto by secret legislation, the complicity of feds, provincial, city levels of government, the agreement of all political parties on the measures taken, so why would I bother to heap more scorn on the thieves of freedom with a second post?


Why because some of it is actually funny hunny.

Exhibit A: Police orifice arrests girl for assault after she blew bubbles in his direction after she was ordered, do you understand ORDERED to OBEY her superior being to cease and desist such a heinous action as to blow bubbles. Regrade SVP:






What a brave soldier, what a monument to his authority, position of responsibility he is, what an example of restraint and understanding of his role in society. His family must be so proud of his work and contributions to society. Daddy please come home safe from them there bubble attackers, please Daddy.....shudder ......




Uh...oh Adam "Bubbles" Joesph has a face book page and he lists his occupation as " I collect Human Garbage". Sweet attitude non?


 
Awwww he likes to make people laugh, I gotta say he made me laugh, the self important taxeating protect and serve kinda guy that he is. I bet he is making a lot of folks laugh lately.



Karma.
 
H/T Joel at TUATK