Try, try again:
Sore throat child from yesterday obviously was consumed with her ice cream mission.
She woke up sometime during the night and ate half a tub of chocolate brownie fudge ripple. She might have gotten away with it except she fell asleep on the couch with the tub on her lap, face smeared with evidence.
Yup a real criminal mastermind that one.
When I found her I wasn't sure if I was damn proud of her perseverance or P.O.'d at her sneakiness...
I've decided a combination of both is fully appropriate in this case. I am surprised she isn't sick from eating that much, but currently am looking for ways to get her to stop bouncing off the ceiling and walls ( of her room) from all that sugar....
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
I'll get right on that
Apparently I am the worst Mamma in the whooole wiiiiiide woooooooorld because I don't understand that Ice cream is the perfect breakfast for a child with a sore throat....
I really hate that phase between sick and better, don't you?
Patience, Grey, Patience......
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
How not to get desired results
Or Feeble tips for "they think they are so adult already" children,
Never start off phone conversations in which you wake up your Mamma in the middle of the night with:
Now mom I don't want you to panic.
This phrase is pretty much a guarantee to set off alarm bells ,especially when it is hurriedly followed by:
Just thought I would call and fill you in because the police may show up at our door or call...
I'm just saying.....this is not the way to reassure a parent that all is good. In this case it turned out my young man stepped in to defend a young lady who was being harassed by an obnoxious drunkard , but still....
Never start off phone conversations in which you wake up your Mamma in the middle of the night with:
Now mom I don't want you to panic.
This phrase is pretty much a guarantee to set off alarm bells ,especially when it is hurriedly followed by:
Just thought I would call and fill you in because the police may show up at our door or call...
I'm just saying.....this is not the way to reassure a parent that all is good. In this case it turned out my young man stepped in to defend a young lady who was being harassed by an obnoxious drunkard , but still....
Thursday, December 15, 2011
One more sleep.
Tomorrow my daughter is scheduled (C-Section) to give birth to my second Grand Baby.
She can hardly wait, : Get it out now is her wish, as is for so many of us ladies at the end.
Enjoy yourself, I keep saying, once she's ( I think it's another girl) out you'll look longingly back on these nights of sleep.
Good luck! I can't wait to meet her, we love her already and if she's anything like her Mamma, she's going to be a force to be reckoned with.
She can hardly wait, : Get it out now is her wish, as is for so many of us ladies at the end.
Enjoy yourself, I keep saying, once she's ( I think it's another girl) out you'll look longingly back on these nights of sleep.
Good luck! I can't wait to meet her, we love her already and if she's anything like her Mamma, she's going to be a force to be reckoned with.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Behind a post or two
I know I promised a post on more bread, but yesterday some dumb fcuk's dog chased down one of my kids and attacked them, no permanent damage done to my child (thank goodness), just bruising on the buttocks from the teeth,( no broken skin thanks to a pair of jeans) and nail marks along the legs, but by GOD I wish I could take a baseball bat to the &*^% owners of that dog.
After things settled down a bit,
Little man: Mommy you kicked that stupid evil puppy.
Grey: No honey the puppy is just being an animal, the owners are stupid and evil and yes I kicked it good.
They are just lucky the Cattleman wasn't here...but I still have to tell him..he's a gonna be PO'd.
After things settled down a bit,
Little man: Mommy you kicked that stupid evil puppy.
Grey: No honey the puppy is just being an animal, the owners are stupid and evil and yes I kicked it good.
They are just lucky the Cattleman wasn't here...but I still have to tell him..he's a gonna be PO'd.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Every child is a unique gift
Something like a snowflake,
A conversation heard in my very own easy bake oven (summer camping trailer) 4 am after a huge storm.
Little One: Mommy! Have you disappeared too? Mommy I need you!
Grey (that would be me) one eye sorta opening: What?
Little One: Mommy! I need to pee and the bathroom has disappeared!
Insert visual of blinky, half opened, do I really have to wake up, eyed Grey right here.
Grey (still moi): What do you mean the bathroom has disappeared?
Little one: I can't see it, it is gone...
Grey: No honey it's not gone, you just can't see it because we lost power from the storm.
Little one: So the storm made it invisible then?
Grey (a confused moi): No not invisible, you just can't see it because it is so dark.
Little one: Daddy said invisible means something is there but you can't see it. So it is invisible now, can you take me to the bathroom NOW please mommy? I don't know how to find an invisible toilet alone.
Grey: Honey......invisible is different, the bathroom is the same, the same place, you just can't see it because it is really really dark and your not used to that.
Cattleman: Umm Grey?
Grey: Yes.....
Cattleman: Maybe we can get the trip to the bathroom done and work on the concept tomorrow?
Grey: Oooooo Kay...that will be your job as you seem to be a real Bill Nye the science guy...good luck I have the easy job....Hold my hand little one I will take you.
Little One: Can you wait and then take me back to bed because the storm made that invisible too?
Grey with a silly grin on my face thinking about the Cattleman attempting to explain the nuances of invisible: Sure no problem.
A conversation heard in my very own easy bake oven (summer camping trailer) 4 am after a huge storm.
Little One: Mommy! Have you disappeared too? Mommy I need you!
Grey (that would be me) one eye sorta opening: What?
Little One: Mommy! I need to pee and the bathroom has disappeared!
Insert visual of blinky, half opened, do I really have to wake up, eyed Grey right here.
Grey (still moi): What do you mean the bathroom has disappeared?
Little one: I can't see it, it is gone...
Grey: No honey it's not gone, you just can't see it because we lost power from the storm.
Little one: So the storm made it invisible then?
Grey (a confused moi): No not invisible, you just can't see it because it is so dark.
Little one: Daddy said invisible means something is there but you can't see it. So it is invisible now, can you take me to the bathroom NOW please mommy? I don't know how to find an invisible toilet alone.
Grey: Honey......invisible is different, the bathroom is the same, the same place, you just can't see it because it is really really dark and your not used to that.
Cattleman: Umm Grey?
Grey: Yes.....
Cattleman: Maybe we can get the trip to the bathroom done and work on the concept tomorrow?
Grey: Oooooo Kay...that will be your job as you seem to be a real Bill Nye the science guy...good luck I have the easy job....Hold my hand little one I will take you.
Little One: Can you wait and then take me back to bed because the storm made that invisible too?
Grey with a silly grin on my face thinking about the Cattleman attempting to explain the nuances of invisible: Sure no problem.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Every child is a unique gift
something lke a snowflake.
This is my 7 year old daughter's new favorite movie:
Her "bestest birthday present ever" this year was a kid sized frying pan, she even takes it to bed ( we manage to persuade her to leave it in the van when we go out, just in case she forgets it somewhere.). The fry-pan is Rapunzel's weapon of choice. Rapunzel is a Sampson like character who's magical powers are generated by her uncut hair.
While going through her scrapbook she noticed the lock of golden baby hair tucked into a vellum envelope.
Little One: Mommy you took away my magic when you cut my hair! Did you know what you were doing? You shouldn't have done that!!!!!
Insert visual of blnky eyed Grey right here.
Grey: Now Little One you have to understand that the movie about Rapunzel is not real.
Little One , who takes EVERYTHING literally: Mommy of course it is real, we even saw it together, so the DVD is REAL! I'll go get it and show you it s real.
Grey, changing strategy on the fly: I know that the DVD is real, but the story isn't real, it's a fairy tale.
Little One: Mommy! Of course the story is real, you even used to read me that story! Don't you remember?
Grey stepping carefully : Yes, but that story was pretend..
Little One: It's not pretend, because we have a real book about it, I can even go get it and read it to you.
Grey getting blinky eyed again,the reality of her understanding dawning on me: Now Little One...
Little One: Mommy! I'm tired of explaining real to you when you should know that, your grown up!
Grey making a hasty retreat while I formulate a REAL plan to explain real and pretend: We will talk about this again another time.
Little One: O.K. but I don't know what else to say to get you to understand.....
Oh brother.........
This is my 7 year old daughter's new favorite movie:
Her "bestest birthday present ever" this year was a kid sized frying pan, she even takes it to bed ( we manage to persuade her to leave it in the van when we go out, just in case she forgets it somewhere.). The fry-pan is Rapunzel's weapon of choice. Rapunzel is a Sampson like character who's magical powers are generated by her uncut hair.
While going through her scrapbook she noticed the lock of golden baby hair tucked into a vellum envelope.
Little One: Mommy you took away my magic when you cut my hair! Did you know what you were doing? You shouldn't have done that!!!!!
Insert visual of blnky eyed Grey right here.
Grey: Now Little One you have to understand that the movie about Rapunzel is not real.
Little One , who takes EVERYTHING literally: Mommy of course it is real, we even saw it together, so the DVD is REAL! I'll go get it and show you it s real.
Grey, changing strategy on the fly: I know that the DVD is real, but the story isn't real, it's a fairy tale.
Little One: Mommy! Of course the story is real, you even used to read me that story! Don't you remember?
Grey stepping carefully : Yes, but that story was pretend..
Little One: It's not pretend, because we have a real book about it, I can even go get it and read it to you.
Grey getting blinky eyed again,the reality of her understanding dawning on me: Now Little One...
Little One: Mommy! I'm tired of explaining real to you when you should know that, your grown up!
Grey making a hasty retreat while I formulate a REAL plan to explain real and pretend: We will talk about this again another time.
Little One: O.K. but I don't know what else to say to get you to understand.....
Oh brother.........
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Every child is a unique gift
something like a snowflake.
Conversation at the restaurant.
Little Man: I need to go potty.
GL to the Cattleman: I'll take him, come on Little Man.
Little Man: Mom your going in the wrong room.
GL: No your coming in here with me.
Little Man: But it's the girl's and I'm a boy!
GL: Well I'm a girl and since I'm the one that brought you, you go in here.
Little Man: But I'm doing a pee and I want to pee in the fancy sink, the sink in there is too tall to pee in.
Insert visual of blinky eyed Grey right here, mental images of Little Man standing on the step stool at home peeing in the sink flash by....... Naaaaa.....
GL: I should hope so, just come in here for now and I'll get Dad to bring you to the fancy sink before we leave.
GL to Cattleman upon returning to table: Honey you have some bathroom splaining to do...........
Conversation at the restaurant.
Little Man: I need to go potty.
GL to the Cattleman: I'll take him, come on Little Man.
Little Man: Mom your going in the wrong room.
GL: No your coming in here with me.
Little Man: But it's the girl's and I'm a boy!
GL: Well I'm a girl and since I'm the one that brought you, you go in here.
Little Man: But I'm doing a pee and I want to pee in the fancy sink, the sink in there is too tall to pee in.
Insert visual of blinky eyed Grey right here, mental images of Little Man standing on the step stool at home peeing in the sink flash by....... Naaaaa.....
GL: I should hope so, just come in here for now and I'll get Dad to bring you to the fancy sink before we leave.
GL to Cattleman upon returning to table: Honey you have some bathroom splaining to do...........
Monday, March 7, 2011
Feeble tips for fellow strugglers
Note to self:
When a child comes up to you saying; OOOOOOhhh muuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmy I feel sickies, the proper response (apparently for self preservation reasons) is NOT to embrace them and ask how they feel sickies, the proper response is to duck, roll and take cover....... Just saying.
When a child comes up to you saying; OOOOOOhhh muuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmy I feel sickies, the proper response (apparently for self preservation reasons) is NOT to embrace them and ask how they feel sickies, the proper response is to duck, roll and take cover....... Just saying.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Feeble tips for fellow strugglers
Note to self:
Try to remember, no matter how busy or distracted you are, when you go outside to shake out children's vomit filled sheets make note of direction of wind.........just saying.....
Try to remember, no matter how busy or distracted you are, when you go outside to shake out children's vomit filled sheets make note of direction of wind.........just saying.....
Sunday, February 13, 2011
I'm ready for my close up now.........
The Cattleman and I woke up ( at 6:23 ) to "Little One" singing away.
Little One: I'm seven, I'm seven, I'm a new seven today. It's my birthday and I'm seven..yah yah yah yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Cattleman: "Little" could ya pipe down, it's still dark out.
Grey (that would be Moi): Did she just say it's her Birthday?
Cattleman: Yes she did.
Grey (me again): But it is her Birthday...
A little background here, last year "Little One" refused to be 6, refused to have a 6th Birthday party because she was NOT going to be 6 years old. 6 sucks apparently. Why? Just because she loved to be 5, 5 years old is the bestest thing ever and she wasn't interested in being 6 years old for anything. As a matter of fact she didn't decide she was ready to be a whopping 6 years old until August and then we held a Birthday party where we summer the weekend before September. Must really not be fond of being 6 at all, gotta have been the shortest career of being a 6 year old on record I figure.
We hear skipping down the hall..
Little One: It's my Birthday Mommy and Daddy.
Cattleman: Yes it is..
Little One: There's gonna be cake and ice cream and Pizza and I am SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEN today!
Grey (me): You betcha....
Little One: The Tooth Fairy is coming tonight too
Insert visual of astonished blinky eyed parental units here....
Cattleman: She is?
Little One: Yup every seven year old lets the Tooth Fairy come in their room silly, she brings money to buy candy and stuff.
Cattleman: Ummm yes she does, now off to your room until it's SEVEEEEEEN O.K.? Be quiet and let everyone else get some more sleep.
Little One: O.k. (skipping back down to her room) I'm seven, it's my Birthday and I'm seveeeeen..
Grey jumping out of bed in a panic: OMG, get up now....... we have a problem.
Cattleman: Problem?
Grey: I can't remember where I put the damn teeth.
Little One: I'm seven, I'm seven, I'm a new seven today. It's my birthday and I'm seven..yah yah yah yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Cattleman: "Little" could ya pipe down, it's still dark out.
Grey (that would be Moi): Did she just say it's her Birthday?
Cattleman: Yes she did.
Grey (me again): But it is her Birthday...
A little background here, last year "Little One" refused to be 6, refused to have a 6th Birthday party because she was NOT going to be 6 years old. 6 sucks apparently. Why? Just because she loved to be 5, 5 years old is the bestest thing ever and she wasn't interested in being 6 years old for anything. As a matter of fact she didn't decide she was ready to be a whopping 6 years old until August and then we held a Birthday party where we summer the weekend before September. Must really not be fond of being 6 at all, gotta have been the shortest career of being a 6 year old on record I figure.
We hear skipping down the hall..
Little One: It's my Birthday Mommy and Daddy.
Cattleman: Yes it is..
Little One: There's gonna be cake and ice cream and Pizza and I am SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEN today!
Grey (me): You betcha....
Little One: The Tooth Fairy is coming tonight too
Insert visual of astonished blinky eyed parental units here....
Cattleman: She is?
Little One: Yup every seven year old lets the Tooth Fairy come in their room silly, she brings money to buy candy and stuff.
Cattleman: Ummm yes she does, now off to your room until it's SEVEEEEEEN O.K.? Be quiet and let everyone else get some more sleep.
Little One: O.k. (skipping back down to her room) I'm seven, it's my Birthday and I'm seveeeeen..
Grey jumping out of bed in a panic: OMG, get up now....... we have a problem.
Cattleman: Problem?
Grey: I can't remember where I put the damn teeth.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Teach your children well
This week my 6 year old passed a "major" milestone in her growing up. She lost her very first tooth. Most children are somewhat excited by this, but little one has not been and it seems never will be "most children".
She was actually upset by this and when I finally was able to get to the bottom of her problem I was surprised to find out that she was vehemently opposed to having that "woman in her room". What woman you may ask? Why tis the tooth fairy of course. Little one doesn't know her and does NOT want "that woman" in her room even if she is leaving $$$$$. She never met her and does not want her sneaking about. I can put the tooth under my pillow and she can just leave it with me according to Little One, but she is not having any of it, end of story.....place visual of blinky eyed parental units here. ( We are not crazy obsessive stranger danger people, we don't need to be, we just keep our kids close, almost exclusively with extended family.)
How do you argue with that? You don't.
She was actually upset by this and when I finally was able to get to the bottom of her problem I was surprised to find out that she was vehemently opposed to having that "woman in her room". What woman you may ask? Why tis the tooth fairy of course. Little one doesn't know her and does NOT want "that woman" in her room even if she is leaving $$$$$. She never met her and does not want her sneaking about. I can put the tooth under my pillow and she can just leave it with me according to Little One, but she is not having any of it, end of story.....place visual of blinky eyed parental units here. ( We are not crazy obsessive stranger danger people, we don't need to be, we just keep our kids close, almost exclusively with extended family.)
How do you argue with that? You don't.
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